ultrqn:

punkbuckies:

clint barton being thrown into a dumpster only to find out that he is not the only one in that dumpster 

matt murdock being slightly offended that someone else has been thrown into his dumpster

#’hey buddy get the fuck outta my dumpster’ #’what i cant hear you im deaf do you know sign language’ #’im bLIND’

petermorwood:

ancientfinnishgoddess:

dutchfruitjar:

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
“Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease”. “That depends, Sir,“ said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner
(about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” - Oscar
Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend…. if you have one.”
(George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill)
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second  …. if there is
one.“  (Winston Churchill, in response.)

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” -
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” -
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” -
Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

Now this kind of insults I’m ready to receive whenever 😂

Have a few British military Form S206 EPRs (Evaluation & Performance Reports) and take their reality with a pinch of salt - though since the Fishheads refer to table cutlery as “port and starboard scran spanners”, anything is possible…

• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.    
  
• I would not breed from this Officer.    
  
• This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t-be.      
  
• When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.    
  
• He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.    
  
• He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.    
  
• Technically sound, but socially impossible.    
  
• This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.    
  
• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.    
  
• When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.    
  
• Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.  
  
• She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.    
  
• He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.    
  
• This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.    
  
• In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
  
• This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.    
  
• The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.    
  
• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a  rat in a trap.  

Source:  "Jackspeak: The Pusser’s Rum Guide to Royal Navy Slanguage“  by Rick Jolly, 1989.

governmentsecret:

Nasa isn’t real, It’s just a group of people who really like the song twinkle twinkle little star

soupengine:

you would think that having poor eyesight would have been bred out of the human genome thousands of years ago but here i am with two piece of glass on my face

nebulodic:

You: Valentines day

Me, an aromantic intellectual: Chocolate goes on sale tomorrow day

alienpapacy:

bernfeeler:

alienpapacy:

friendly reminder use your turn signal

hey I’m from tennessee i don’t understand this post?

show this post to the horse you ride around on he’ll take it from there

crisontumblr:

gokuma:

12drakon:

redgrieve:

lierdumoa:

greenbryn:

whatthecurtains:

cthullhu:

nonomella:

Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me

Nothing wrong with a good dose of sheer terror at a young age

“It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares. It’s the strangest book I’ve written”

-Neil Gaiman on Coraline

@nightlovechild

This is a legit psychology phenomenon tho like there’s a stop motion version of Alice and Wonderland that adults find viscerally horrifying, but children think is nbd. It’s like in that ‘toy story’ period of development kids are all kind of high key convinced that their stuffed animals lead secret lives when they’re not looking and that they’re sleeping on top of a child-eating monster every night so they see a movie like Coraline and are just like “Ah, yes. A validation of my normal everyday worldview. Same thing happened to me last Tuesday night. I told mommy and she just smiled and nodded.”

Stephen King had this whole spiel i found really interesting about this phenomenon about how kids have like their own culture and their own literally a different way of viewing and interpreting the world with its own rules that’s like secret and removed from adult culture and that you just kinda forget ever existed as you grow up it’s apparently why he writes about kids so much

An open-ended puzzle often gives parents math anxiety while their kids just happily play with it, explore, and learn. I’ve seen it so many times in math circles. We warn folks about it.

Neil Gaiman also said that the difference in reactions stems from the fact in “Coraline” adults see a child in danger - while children see themselves facing danger and winning

Stephen King’s ‘It’ is pretty much this concept in novel form.